It is undeniable that sex is a very important part of a love relationship. If there is no sex, then it is not a love relationship, but simply a friendship.
This is one reason why, for a Feng Shui consultant, when a client says their spouse is their “best friend,” that is a red flag. More often than not, if the Feng Shui Consultant prods a little, she will find out that there is little passion in that relationship, and they seldom make love any more.
Sex On a Screen
In the days of the internet and easy access to pretty much anything, people confuse the sexuality that is seen on internet programs, TV, or movies, with real sex in a solid relationship.
I am not even talking about porn here, but about every day, run of the mill, expressions of sexuality you see on screens.
Many people, especially young people, take their cues from what they see in these programs. TV shows or movies know that they can increase their ratings by showing exotic sex scenes — things that are different or strange.
Another Source of Distorted Ideas About Sex
There is a type of distorted ideas about sex that is much more harmful to women than what is shown on TV.
Romance novels are a great threat to a woman’s healthy expression of sexuality.
I’ll tell you why: romance novels tell the story of men who woo women in a way that satisfies all the needs and desires of a woman’s imagination.
The sad truth is, real guys do not behave like that. Real guys do not magically guess or know how you want to be hugged or caressed.
It’s About Trust
After all, sex in a marriage is a lot more about comfort and trust, than it is about excitement. Sex in a marriage means that you trust each other enough to communicate what you like and don’t like, what you are willing to do, and what you are not. It means compromise, trial and error.
Sex in a marriage seeks the satisfaction of both partners, not an exciting performance. It is about intimacy, much more than it is about passion or prowess.
This does not mean that a couple should not experiment, or should not use their imagination to add spice to their love life. It means that the needs of the partners need to be satisfied before their desires.
A Natural Flow
When emotional needs are met in a couple, sexuality flows more naturally. Many married women have told me that when they were not OK with their spouse emotionally, they could not enjoy sex. Make-up sex worked when they were dating, but after they got married it did not, it made their problems worse the next day.
Feng Shui is a part of Ancient Chinese Medicine, and in Chinese medicine they don’t have the same reservations about sex that we have in our Western culture, where religion has often influenced our approach to sex.
I’ll give you an example: a friend of mine who was working for a doctor of acupuncture in a mostly Catholic country, had noticed that a lot of his patients were middle aged women, with the same type of health issues. She asked the doctor about this, was this some kind of epidemic, or was it related to age? His answer: “Age? No! They all suffer from a lack of sex. That is why they are manifesting all these problems with the womb and ovaries.”
In Chinese medicine, sex is seen as a natural impulse, and sexual desire is seen as a sign of health, just as a good appetite is.
Rules of Bedrooms
There are certain rules of the Feng Shui Master Bedroom that are designed to make sure to promote communication, intimacy, and a healthy expression of sexuality. There are certain things that, if kept in a bedroom, promote arguments and kill passion.
You can learn about all these rules for bedrooms in a course.
Make sure you’re not making these 5 common mistakes in your master bedroom:
The wrong bed placement and decorations can hurt sleep, passion, and love. WATCH THE FREE WEBINAR “Five Bedroom Mistakes that Repel Love.” GO HERE.
Moni, I am curious. What do you think about two people becoming really good friends AND THEN becoming Lovers and Partners? The best and longest relationship I ever had was with my (present) husband. We became friends first…knew each other and did business with each other for about 6 months before we started down the road to intimacy.
The other three relationships were based on “lesser desires” and highly sexually charged. They did not survive like the one I have just mentioned.
Your insight
That can happen, being friends first and then lovers, but the energy of the relationship changes. There are things you would tell a friend that you would not tell a significant other, or perhaps shouldn’t tell a significant other. Too much honesty all the time can kill a relationship, but it strengthens a friendship. I will write an article about this soon. The energy that rules friendship is growth, and the energy of marriage is acceptance and yielding. Friendships are defined by the number 3 (groups) and love relationships by the number 2 (couple, one on one exclusive relationships)