It’s Not Your Lover’s Duty to Make You Happy – Feng Shui for Love


It’s not your lover’s duty to make you happy, and it’s not your duty to make them happy.

Let me tell you the story of Penny and Bryce.

Penny and  I had met at the restaurant where I was training as a health foods chef, over 20 years ago. We became fast friends.

One day, Penny, who was a house wife, and was studying to become a high couture seamstress, invited me to spend the afternoon and evening at her home.

We cooked dinner together. I made a special soup with a type of bean that you can only find in South America.

When Penny’s husband, Bryce, arrived in the evening, and sat down for dinner, Penny told her I had made the soup.

Bryce said: “Great, we are going to eat a delicious soup in this house, for a change.”

I turned all colors. Penny seemed to not have heard him. During dinner, they bickered like Fred and Ethel in “I Love Lucy,” only in their case it wasn’t funny. At moments, it seemed to me that they plotted in their minds the next mildly hurtful thing they could say to each other.

They Complained About Each Other

Bryce complained to his friends that he was unhappy because Penny didn’t keep the house clean, she nagged at him, and didn’t compliment him enough.

Penny complained to her friends that Bryce loved work more than his family, that he was tight with money, and didn’t compliment her enough.

Penny said that when they had met, they seemed to have lot in common, but by then she had forgotten what those things were.

Both Penny and Bryce thought that they were miserable because of things the other one did or failed to do. Both seemed to be unconscious of how each of them contributed to their problems.

Mostly, they were ignorant of the fact that another person cannot make you happy. In truth, they were projecting their own insecurities onto each other, instead of assuming responsibility, each for their own life.

It Starts with the Body

At Feng Shui for Us, we believe that happiness is an internal condition. It’s a condition that starts with proper care of the body. If you sleep enough, eat good foods, and give your body movement (aerobics, strength, stretching), it becomes a lot easier to be happy.

Single people who are happy, tend to go on to be happy in love relationships. If a relationship is unhappy, they don’t stay in it.

Single people who are unhappy, tend to create unhappy relationships. Even when properly matched, they manage to ruin a relationship.

If you are single, they guy that will magically make you happy will never show up. Even the most magical guy can’t make you happy if you aren’t already happy.

If you are married, and unhappy, magically changing your husband won’t make you happy. It’s not  his fault if you are unhappy.

Being single or having problems in a love relationship can, of course, contribute to unhappiness, but these things are not at the core of unhappiness.

Having a love partner can, as well, contribute to happiness, but this is not at the core of happiness.

The Root of Unhappiness, and Feng Shui Tips to be Happy

At the root of unhappiness are feelings of not being good enough, or being undeserving. No man can change that for you, but Feng Shui can. Feng Shui is the only healing modality that works from the outside in.

I’m going to give you a tip that I usually only mention to clients or students: go through your photo albums and remove all the photos of yourself that you do not like. It is that simple, and you will be taking a first step to actually liking yourself and accepting who you are.

Then, make sure there are no mirrors in your home that split or distort the image. Learn to see yourself as you are, and you will find beauty.

Go through your home and let go of the things you do not use and do not love. Why keep them? If you have trouble decluttering, take a look at this course I offer: Declutter from the Heart . This course has helped people who had previously tried everything, and never before could keep their home under control. They now get happy at the thought of decluttering, and they do it with little effort.

It’s Not Your Lover’s Duty to Make You Happy and It’s Not Your Duty to Make Your Lover Happy

It’s not your lover’s duty to make you happy, and it’s not your duty to make them happy.

Demanding that your lover make you happy, or thinking that you are responsible for your lover’s happiness, are sure ways to become unhappy. That is not the way love works.

A healthy love relationship is the union of two complete individuals, who seek to enhance each others lives.

To truly love and be loved:

  1. You have to know who you are.
  2. You have to know what you like.
  3. You have to like who you are.

Only by fulfilling the 3 requirements above can you know who you can love, and who can love you.

There are many ways in which you can achieve these things. One of the easiest and fastest is to take a Feng Shui course for love.

Make sure you’re not making these 5 common mistakes in your master bedroom:

The wrong bed placement and decorations can hurt sleep, passion, and love. WATCH THE FREE WEBINAR “Five Bedroom Mistakes that Repel Love.” GO HERE.

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