I said goodbye to my husband two weeks ago. Before you worry, he’s OK now. But the second week in November he had to have emergency surgery for a ruptured appendix.
I had spent Monday afternoon helping my son build us a new tree bench and we had just realized that the landscaping stones we bought to build a sand circle around it would not work. Rather than returning the 36 super heavy (24 lbs each!) stones to the store I had the idea to build a fire pit with them.
I was carrying stones to the location I had chosen for the fire pit and playing with different ways to arrange them when my husband came out of the front door and said our doctor had told him to go the emergency room immediately. So, of course, I dropped everything and we jumped in the car, headed for the nearest hospital. We wouldn’t be back home for two days.
Bleak Prognostic
The morning of the surgery, his very competent doctor was perhaps too frank in explaining all that could go wrong with him, before and after the surgery. As he was about to leave the room, he put his hand on Marco’s shoulder and told him, “of all the people in this emergency room today, waiting for surgery, you are the one I’m worried about the most.”
And there in that moment, we were hit with the enormity of what was going on. His life was in danger, and if the worst fears of the doctor were right, this might be the last time we were together.
Saying Our Goodbyes
We honestly felt we needed to say goodbye. And it was beautiful. Right at that moment we saw that there is no pending business between us, nothing to be forgiven, nothing to reproach. We’ve had a pretty good 30 years. We’re good with each other.
Since the boys (22 and 19) were not with us at that time, he also gave me his last messages for them. I got to share these messages with them, in much happier circumstances than I had expected.
The Fire Pit
As I was sitting next to his bed in the emergency room, I kept thinking about that half-built fire pit, and wondering if we would ever be able to enjoy it together. If something happened to him, would I just take it apart and never think about it again? Or would I finish it anyway and use the fire as part of the healing process for myself and the boys?
The surgery went well, and he was sent home a lot sooner than the doctor had expected. Back home, whenever my husband was sleeping I went back outside to work on the fire pit. One thing my sons and I found out during this whole ordeal was that being outside doing manual work was very helpful for our minds and souls.
And now the fire pit is done, and we’re thinking of how we are going to enjoy it with family and friends. Since it’s gotten so cold, and we might not be able to use it often, I got some firefly lights to put inside it so it doesn’t feel lonely or forgotten (sometimes, to get good Feng Shui you gotta think of things as if they are alive and have feelings).
In my new book, The House of Many Gardens, Feng Shui Secrets for Home Landscaping, I talk about the importance of creating outdoor spaces you can share with the people you love.
Did You Get The House of Many Gardens?
The House of Many Gardens – Feng Shui Secrets for Home Landscaping
Moni’s new book is out, The House of Many Gardens – Feng Shui Secrets for Home Landscaping will teach you how to design fantastic gardens inside and outside your home, no matter where you live.
Recover the sense of wonder you had as a child enjoying nature, and everything else will follow. Check it out here.
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Amazon Australia: https://www.amazon.com.au/House-Many-Gardens-Secrets-Landscaping-ebook/dp/B0DL1CJSWR/
Amazon Canada: https://www.amazon.ca/House-Many-Gardens-Secrets-Landscaping-ebook/dp/B0DL1CJSWR/
After you purchase the ebook, send the receipt to the email address team@fengshuiforus.com and I will give you for free the amazing Feng Shui 101 Class(regular $29).